And why shouldn't we ligislate morality?

In recent political history there has been several battles over morality. Notably are those that seem to divide the Christian world from the Secular world. And of these, the most volatile and precarious, include Homosexual Marriage and Abortion.

Now before you dismiss this entry, I believe that no matter your stance on either current issue, this blog will likely not be what you expect.

Here is the back-drop: Homosexuality and Abortion are two of the most private personal struggles, and at the same time are two of the most publicly hated. For the most part the Christian Camp identifies both as sin and therefore should be outlawed, end of story. For the most part the opposing Secular Camp do not identify sins in general, which makes the Christian Camp's argument seem insane. Interestingly, there has been some inclusion of science (a traditionally secular field usually seen as antagonistic to the Christian Camp's world view) by the Christian Camp to try and prove that homosexuality is un-natural (both in nature and in reproductive sense) and that abortion is murder (by pin-pointing the exact moment when the embryo becomes a life). Both of these issues have been topic for discussion in the legislative function of the U.S. Government. To this I ask, what is the goal? What is the reason for addressing these topics as potential decisions to be made by legal mandate, rather than individuals?

And now I take a step back.

Back in 1802, Thomas Jefferson wrote a letter as a response to address the concerns of the Danbury Baptist Association regarding the potential persecution of the Church by the State. In this letter the following was written by President Jefferson (emphasis added):

"Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between man & his god, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, thus building a wall of separation between church and state."

This letter has been adopted as a staple and placed as the standard for the different roles and responsibilities of the Church versus the State. Supported and emphasized by the first amendment, religious and personal freedoms have been protected in the United States since 1802 (barring some significant historical lapses in better judgement which I will not address here).

Additionally the Word of God helps us all understand this separation. There are rules and laws that govern the Kingdom of God, these can be found in the Bible. There are also laws and regulations that govern the secular world. Referred to as laws of the wicked, laws of the Romans, laws of the Gentiles (depending on what version of the Bible you read). These are also alluded to in Romans 2:12 "All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law." THE LAW here is God's law, "Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, ... they are a law for themselves" (Romans 2:14). Thus humans are not lawless, but instead without God's Law, unless there has been a personal acceptance of God's Laws to govern the person, individually.

So, with the established separation of Church and State, the expressed difference between the laws that govern the citizens of a state and the laws that govern the hearts of individuals in the Kingdom of God, what's happening in politics? The Christian Camp is essentially trying to legislate in secular law the laws of the Kingdom of God, which have been distinctly separate. There is a relationship between the God of God's Laws and the individual who accepts that law upon themselves. The personal conviction that is experienced by the individual wrought by the Holy Spirit is what prompts the individual to abide by these laws. How then does anyone expect those not under God's Law to abide by those laws? Even in Psalm 50:16 says "But God says to the wicked: 'What right do you have to recite my laws or take my covenant on your lips?'" God Himself states that there is no sense, and even a bit of disgrace that comes with adopting the Laws of God when there is no conviction, and no relationship between HIM and those outside of His Laws.

Indeed there is a separation/difference between Church and State... and it goes both ways. The public does not govern the Church, reasonably the Church should not govern the public.

Our role as Christians is to love, unconditionally, to be an image of Christ to those who are lost and hurting. There are sadly far too many churches and Christians that become the reason conflicted and hurting individuals do not turn to the Church. Our role is to provide a place of healing, not judgement. Love your neighbor, and your enemy as yourself. Leave the convicting to the Holy Spirit, He's better at it, and more effective.

"We all live in hiding. In one way of another each of us conceal parts of ourselves. Some hide because their lives depend on it. Others hide because they don't like being seen. And then there are those special cases who hide because, .... because the just want someone to care enough to look for them" - In Plain Sight.

I believe we all have a desire to be sought out.... I think this may be a quality we have recieved when recieving the Image of God (Coram Deo) when we were created.

I get to seek people out every day, and know that somewhere I'm being searched for.

The parable of the Mustard seed as it applies to Evangelism.

First lets break apart the sections of the parable a bit. There is reference to the Mustard seed itself, the mustard plant, Levin, which is yeast, and the scene that is produced by each item. A literary analysis may produce that the seed represents the smallest and most unassuming start to what grows into the largest and best place of rest in the fields/garden. The parable talks about how the mustard plant grows into a source of shade and a place for the birds of the field to get rest. Resting and calm patches of shade often represent restoration strength and recovery. Thus, the mustard plant is touted as a true prize to have in a garden, something that is special and worth cultivating. But as it is pointed out in the parable the mustard seed that produces such a large plant and strong benefit to the garden is the smallest seed known to the world of horticulture at that time in that particular area. So in the same way, the most unassuming and smallest of actions can be used and grown into the largest and most beneficial situations or experiences for man.
So what of the yeast in the parable? Just a small amount is combined within the dough and left to grow and do what it’s meant to do. It is also interesting to note that the parable does not say anything about the mustard seed requiring a skillful farmer for it to grow and flourish. Which leads me to believe that this parable is saying that the smallest and most innocent of interactions, when intended by the plans of God will grow and consume the “host” (if you will) when left to itself.

Now a look at that modern ideals of evangelism. I was taught as a child that if someone wasn’t a “believer” they were going to hell, and I needed to be the one to warn them about this inevitable situation. I was taught that essentially I needed to tell them repeatedly that they were going to hell if they didn’t stop doing whatever it is that they were doing that made them non-believers. Now as I get older this makes less and less since. First, since when has anyone been able to avoid doing X by thinking about it in any way without having an alternate activity? Second, and probably more important, since when has condemnation made anyone want to be more like the person spouting off the judgments? And Finally, isn’t it the holy spirit’s job to “convert” souls to the side of Christ? So all that to say that according to the parable of the mustard seed, we have this evangelism thing a bit off.

Saint Francis of Assisi is attributed to have said “preach the gospel every day, and use words only if you must.” So showing through actions the gospel is more impacting than speaking it. This is shown in other areas of life as well. Who are the best bosses? The ones who lead by example. Who are the best teachers or mentors, the ones who will show you how to do things by practicing for themselves how it’s done. Okay, so lead by example, show through your actions the gospel of Christ, and use words if you must. But how many words? If we take the parable into account the smallest token and least amount of active ingredients will consume and grow into exactly what it’s meant to be. So the least amount of words coupled with the appropriate examples will be the most powerful and influential evangelistic tools. Why? Because they are like the mustard seed, and the yeast. These small actions, these things that we are merely asked to do because we serve God are the things that are actually the most effective in showing the love of Christ and thus the Gospel of Christ to our fellow humans. It’s not easy to have faith that the mere consistency of believing and following Christ will actually be showing others what it is like to be a Christ-follower.

I’m not a huge fan of evangelism as it is defined today. But I evangelize every day by loving my God and my neighbor. By allowing someone into my lane in busy traffic, by saying “God bless you” when they sneeze. I do this by just believing in their humanity and lending the ear they need so desperately. I do this by having peace and humility. I show Christ by giving a shit about people who don’t “fit in” and don’t do it the “right” way. And when the time comes to answer the question of why I do these things, I’m ready with an answer… Because Christ would do the same.

I think that having the faith of the mustard seed is not about believing you can do great things but rather believing that the smallest and most unassuming things will be what makes the difference in the lives of those you interact with.

Florida's Education System

Before I go on to recount the insanity that i have been dealing with, it's good to know that i'm doing well. Vince and the Dog and I are getting along swimmingly. Apparently there's a tropical storm-a-commin' but i'm not worried about it. in fact i'll be the news room dog-sitter since we live like 5 min from the station and they will all have to be there 24/7 till it passes. .... woot fun!

but we'll see if that happens or not.

now for my insanity....

So now that I’m in a school officially and am registered for classes I can tell you about it.
I’m going to FGCU in Fort Myers, officially as a post bachelor-degree, non-degree seeking student (Post-Bac-non-degree student). This is so I can take the three pre-requisite classes that I need because I’m not already a teacher in FL, so I need to take Developmental Reading, Classroom Management, and Foundations of Curriculum Instruction before I can take any classes regarding counseling. (I’m still not sure if that will be helpful or not in the long run but that’s their requirements… whatever)

Now, that’s great because I can take those classes without being accepted into the program so I can work on my requirements before being in the program, with no problems counting those classes for the degree. BUT I’m now ineligible for financial aid because I’m not degree seeking. Tee hee hee! And I’m not accepted into the program because I still have to take the essay portion of the General Knowledge Exam. I have to take this because I didn’t not score a 1000 on my GRE. I got a 950. … but see the ironic thing here is that the “score” does not include the writing portion of the GRE in the point-score. I got a 5.5 out of 6 on the writing portion of the GRE but am now being held from being a degree seeking student because I have not taken the writing portion of the GKE because I got a 950 on the other portions of the GRE! (so the only thing that I knocked out of the park is the only section that is holding me back from getting financial aid.)

Besides that, I took the GKE while I still had intentions to go to USF in Tampa. So naturally I think that the FL DOE would work like any other organization with a standardized test where you have to request that they send additional scores to the school so that they are “official” …. Yeah not so. I called and asked how to request having me scores sent to an additional school, and they told me that they have to send them to me personally and won’t send them to any school not listed on the original list given when taking the exam. AND that you can’t order over the phone, AND that you can’t even order online. You have to go to the website (that the DOE operator has to tell you wrong once, and then say it correctly while being incredibly annoyed that you would ask twice) and you have to print the request to mail it to them (in Mass!?!?!?!) so that you can request your Florida test scores to be sent to you in Florida so that you can send them to the school in Florida that you want to go to so that they will accept you into their program because you didn’t get a 1000 on the non-writing sections of the GRE. So you can do this all over again when you do take the writing portion.

INSANE!!!!!!

a) What kind of official testing center/organization refuses to send official scores to universities?
b) How can the operator not know that they are the ONLY organization that does it that way, and get frustrated at the caller for trying to do it how every other educational organization does it!
c) Why the F is my life so complicated!

So this is what I did this morning.
`Talked to the director of Financial Aid and discussed the possible options.
`Left a message for the Director of the College of Education to see about being accepted into the program with a pending status so that I can get federal financial aid.
`Called the admissions office to triple check what my application needed.
`Called CSU to find out how to order transcripts without having my ramweb ID
`Called CU Denver to find out how to get a transcript for my math credits that I took in 2002
`Called the FL DOE to try and order scores. Fought with their website…. Insane.
`Called Admissions office again to find out if I can bring in my copy of the scores or if they need a sealed copy from this illusive FL DOE
`Called the DOE certification specialist to see if this mess with my GRE GKE can be resolved… but even though their hours were stated in the teleprompting, no one was there… Insane, again.

All the while I’m on the phone thinking of how much I was over last month in phone minuets because of BS like this with USF… at least this time it’s with the FL DOE rather than just a school! WOOT Florida!


Ps. To the educators in my life… don’t move here!

A thought on Community.

A few things in life has lead me to be writing about this topic, but for now let’s skip the reasons and go straight to the heart of the matter; The importance of community within our lives.
In my life I have met a few “Lone Ranger”, “Casanova” types who profess to need no one for anything and claim that they are completely self-reliant. Well, I don’t believe it. Knowing from personal experiences, personal observations, repeated/documented case after case of psychological un-health due to loneliness, not to mention the countless media attempts to explain and describe the natural human desire for companionship there is an inherent need that we all have for the presence of other people.
As an RA we are told that the community is the most important thing that we can create on our individual floors. In Church we hear about how encouraging it is that we live in a “body” or community of believers. In families we hear that no matter what happens, we’re still family. In schools there are small communities of people (sometimes not all that healthy) called cliques. Starbucks even has a company mission statement to build relationships between the Baristas and the customers. So, what is it about community, about relationships with other people that make Community such a universal goal? Why is it so important that we live, work, love, play among people; among other humans that deeply desire the presence of others?
I have been reading a book recently, one that I highly recommend, that has several personal stories about what the author, Don Miller, experiences in his life that have lead him to a faith in Christ. [The book is named “Blue like Jazz” if you’re interested.] Even outside of the context of the larger message of the book, there is a section about community. He talks about a time in his life where he was living outside the city with a friend of his. His friend was rarely around because he had a girlfriend that lived on the other side of the city. Don spent most of his time alone. He goes into how he began to make up conversations with imaginary people, even to go so far as to imagine that Emily Dickenson was alive and living in his apartment with him. After this story Don goes into why he thinks his hallucinations happened.
In Genesis, God created woman because “it is not good for man to be alone.” Obviously this is not the ONLY reason the women was created, but there is a fundamental need for all people to have other people. So, in a purely biblical take on the topic, it’s clear. It is not good for man(humans) to be alone, therefore God created others for our companionship.
In prison, one of the most severe punishments is solitary confinement. Now I might have my incarcerated-persons profile a bit off here, but it seems to me that the folks that are in prison are most likely the “Lone Ranger” go-it-alone types. So, if it would follow that these type of people really do not need the companionship of others, why would solitary confinement be any punishment at all? Wouldn’t it just be a vacation for them?
In Hollywood, Tom Hanks befriended a volleyball due to the lack of human companionship. I dare you to count the number of romantic flicks there are, or how many man-goes-crazy-in-space-from-isolation movies there are… okay maybe that’s mostly on the outer limits shows, but still! Why is that such a captivating and stressful situation if humans could survive completely alone?
Countless men and women remain in abusive relationships out of fear of loneliness, or abandonment. They stay because the possibility of being alone is worse than the reality of their abuse. If it hurts, at least they know they are alive.
People fear being alone. It’s apparent all around. Advertisements will more often than not have several people enjoying the product rather than just one. Tables in food courts are set up with two or more chairs. Airplanes seat you less than the “comfortable public distance” away from two complete strangers. Park benches are designed for more than one butt. Apartments are all clumped together as if you were living in a bee hive. You go to your local, community grocery store. It’s likely that you know the name of at least one of your bank tellers. Even in a society that professes to thrive on individualism and solidarity, the overtones of community and companionship are everywhere.
Yeah, yeah, we get it… right? So why do I bring this up if it’s seems so apparent that people NEED people?
Why do people still believe that they are an island? Why are there Casanovas? – no this is not a ploy for communism or anything like that – this is a simple observation that despite our grave desire to be around people, there is a wall, a boundary keeping us from what it is that we desire most.
Now I feel that I need to clarify, that this desire is for people and companionship in general, to be known by a group of people. There are other desires for romantic and spiritual connections as well; both equally important (spiritual might be more important, but that’s another blog in itself) but what I am referring to is how we interact with others at large.
We learn from people. It’s said that up to 80% of who we are is learned from those we are around between the time of birth until we are dead. Why is it that the school cliques look the same, talk the same, use the same verbal patterns, gesture similarly, laugh at the same jokes, and everything else that makes them a clique? We learn our behavior from those around us. This is why parents and guardians are so concerned with who their child is gallivanting about with. The influences in our lives are pivotal to our personal and social development.
If it’s true that the full 80% of our personalities and values are learned from those around us, the other 20% is what we are left with in solitary confinement, or on the beach with the volleyball. Now I’m a bit rusty on my rehabilitation theory, but from what I can recall, when people have been alone for long periods of time, there is a process of re-socialization that must occur before they can fully operate in the busy world that we live in. The length of re-socialization therapy is adjusted depending on the length of time that they were isolated. In some cases people are hallucinogenic at the time of their re-entry into society and may become violent, or paranoid, or any other variation of traumatic mental instability.
Ok, so that is the worst case scenario. You are isolated and become diagnoseably crazy from the experience. Fortunately, these are rare cases. Unfortunately, there are many people that live in isolation that are not diagnosable as crazy, but who still suffer the debilitating effects of loneliness. Depression, lethargy, crankiness, in some cases eating disorders, social anxiety, even divergent personality disorders.
It is my opinion that isolationistic tendencies are only re-enforced by the society that we life in. Despite the community nature of many things in this culture, there is so much lip-service to individualism that those who desire companionship believe that they are also admitting a weakness by calling out for it. The “do it yourself,” “God helps them who help themselves” “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps” cliché party lines become the theme for further isolation of those who need community the most. The power of these words forces the shy, depressed and socially awkward further away from the society that they so wholly desire to interact with.
Unfortunately, the flip side to the party line is that those that are involved with the community seem to feel a barrier keeping them from reaching out to those that are watching community happen without them. The individualism line says that it’s offensive to offer help to those that want to do it alone. And because those that are alone can’t ask for help because it’s a sign of weakness, they don’t ask for help, to be brought into a group, to say that they are lonely. And because they don’t ask/tell, it’s assumed that they want it that way. Therefore, those in community leave them to their isolation.
Now I must comment that sometimes the lack of out-reach is not merely due to a lack of an out-cry, but sadly in many cases it’s because reaching out quite frankly, is uncomfortable. People get their 80% all figured out, and they don’t want it to change, so they stay in their comfort-zones surrounded by all the same people, doing all the same things, singing all the same songs, wearing all the same clothes… this is the point that cliques become unhealthy.
All in all, there is a cycle happening in this society. This cycle keeps the in-crowd in, and the out-crowd out. It encourages the formation of cliques, sects, exclusive groups and elitist clubs. There are ways to break the cycle, but it means one of two things. 1) an in-crowd person reaching to the outside and rocking the boat. Or 2) someone outside calling out for help, with the chance that those on the inside won’t respond out of fear. (this branches into the topic of fear of rejection that is even more convoluted and skews the lines of individualism vs. community… so I won’t go there now.)
It’s really a terrible plight. And there is not much that I personally can do about it, besides talk about it to bring awareness to the situation, and make sure that I’m reaching out to as many people as I can. But in reality, the power rests in the hands of those who think they have none, those on the fritz due to loneliness and depression. Step up, join something, put yourself out there.
I’m calling you out!
Come/go out, and do something with some people. Find something that you’re passionate about, then start doing it. You’ll find others who are passionate about it too. And then, you’ve found a community. Plug in, get connected, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
You have more to gain from humility, but more to lose from pride.

A thought about forgiveness.

it seems that each of us have someone to forgive in life. it may be a significant other, it may be a parent it might be a friend or even a stranger. But the thing that i have been pondering for months now, is when is it justified to not forgive someone?

would it be alright to not forgive someone if they themselves were not sorry about the hurtful comment or actions? well, lets first ask why are these people not sorry (repentant if you will)?

is it because they are malicious and intended to harm you? in this case it makes sense to me that your unforgiveness and eventual hatred of this person was the goal of the interaction. in some sick way, the person who tried to harm you is rewarded by being given so much power over you that you would continue to brew on the topic after the harmful event is long over. [now it is understandable that in extreme situations such as assault or other forms of victimization, there are situations where forgiveness is not as easy as i am suggesting. in these situations the forgiver must have another means of help to allow for the forgiveness of their assailant. - but more on this later] Therefore, if the intention of the incident was to breed continued contempt within your heart, by not forgiving... they still win. they hurt you and are continuing to hurt your future. - more on the state of an unforgiving person later -

Now if the incident that caused you harm was unknown to the one who caused it, then unforgiveness in this situation is also unacceptable. If the assailant has no opportunity to feel remorse about their actions they are being held accountable for things they are unaware of. This is not to say that people should not be held accountable for their actions, but rather that people should be informed of the affects of their actions such that they have the chance to alter future interactions with other human beings. Therefore if you are unwilling (or unable) to tell this person what the affects of their actions were, and you are also unwilling to forgive them for their lack of repentance. here lies a catch 22. they cannot be sorry for something they do not know about. and if the unforgiving is unwilling to share the harm done, the situation will not be given the appropriate illumination for the ignorant assailant to be sorry.

Now for the unforgiving person. it seems to me that when i have been in a place on unforgiveness that the bitterness and harbored agitation that is supposedly focused on this one person over this one issue becomes an increased agitation over all other areas of my life. for instance, say that i'm upset at someone that mugged me and took all my stuff. in being angry with that person, i them become agitated that some person cut into my lane a bit closer to my car than i would have preferred. or that a punk kid cut in line at the movie snack counter. or perhaps that my significant other can't help but leave their wet towel in the middle of the floor which you pick up and then walk around on the wet-spot all day while washing their dirty cloths. (that doesn't sound familiar, does it?) I believe that the state of the unforgiving person is really a state of masochism, of self mutilation of your own soul. only you have the power to let things go, and free yourself from being so bogged down with your own anger and preoccupation about other people's actions. by not forgiving others you impair your ability to forgive even yourself. and in a world where there has only been one perfect creature (Jesus Christ) the thought of not being able to forgive yourself for not being everything you expect from yourself is paralyzing! you are angry at every one else for not living up to your standards of how other human beings should live alongside one another. but deep down you are infuriated with yourself because you fail your own standards every day. you didn't get up early enough, you didn't make it to the gym, you had too many sodas, you didn't have time to make a better dinner, you don't know what's going on in your kid's life, you didn't show kindness to the store clerk.... the list could go on forever!
the funny thing is that while raising our standards to that of Christ by fully submitting and following HIM, we are actually liberating ourselves from our own failed standards. Now i know, why would making our standards higher make us any less of a failure? well, honestly, it doesn't. but God is a Gracious God. His Grace is Sufficient for all who choose to accept it. Accepting Grace is a hard thing for people. especially those of us who expect so much from ourselves and those around us. or maybe there has been so many harbored emotions of doubt and disappointment in others, you have no standard for them... only that they will let you down. and admittedly, someone somewhere will always let you down. that's why the prospect of having someone so dependable and reliable that He will NEVER fail you so unbelievable. but there is someone, but not just a someone, your creator. someone who knows how terrible you think you are, and how terrible you really are, but also how incredible, how compassionate, how loving, how inspired you are to be dependable, reliable, loving, caring, and all of those things that we try to express through working hard to provide for your family, of being involved with community activities. He knows the best and the worst... and you know what.... he still wants to call you HIS, he's proud of you. he longs for you to be free from the burdens of unforgiveness. free to love yourself enough to really love others. but most of all, to not be ashamed to love, and associate with perfection; Christ.

Thoughts and Ponderings

I know that God has been telling me this past week that the things that I am dealing with are between me and God alone. And so there is an automatic detachment to what is being said, but the things that are floating around are not wholly off either. Job 18: 2&3 come to mind. But I’m not sure if I need to be silent and listen or if it is that others need to stop their chatter… I’m not sure yet.
The other thing that comes to mind is Job 19 1-10. I feel that God has broken me, and in my brokenness I am continually judged and nit-picked. Granted this may just be the timing of the feedback requested of letters from months ago. But either way, my issues are with God alone.
As far as the other portions of these responses, Job 13:2-3. I know these things and it frightens me as well. It’s not that I am blindly perusing things with ignorance of what I am capable of. I have been burned, and in some disgusting way I have inherited some of the traits that were so harmful to me. I DON’T know why! I hate it. I need to be given the forgiveness by God and the grace of my fellow believers to understand that I AM broken. I have been in a place of Job 15:11-13, not even so far ago! But I have been broken, my life my plans have been taken from me. Job 16:7 “Surely, O God, you have worn me out; you have devastated my entire household. 8 You have bound me—and it has become a witness; my gauntness rises up and testifies against me.” So my past betrays me, I am bound to my weakness. To be humbled by the sins of my past. I know that I am nothing without the grace that is sufficient for me. 2 Corinthians 12:9. However, even in that grace I am still wanting. I am as in Job 15: 14-16, I am still wicked and in need of a savior. (I can address individual concerns/fights if need be)
So yes. I know that I’m terrible. I know that I’m lacking in the Faith Department but who are men to judge my heart? What can they see that I do not show them? Besides what God Himself has shown to them, they see only what I give up. In my brokenness I feel that I have been open, bare, helpless laying huddled in the corner while I’m being told I’m not good… I KNOW I’m not good. No one is good in their own right. The powers of this world have taken it by force, and well we live here, we are NOT islands we are NOT invincible! I too am not “good” according to the Word. but Job 16:19-21
I want to use Job 15:4, but where? Somewhat in conjunction with Job 16:2-5. Still I don’t know how it is meant to be used, because there is not need to rebuke the air. It would be a Job 15:3.